Some of the old marriage customs have been changing for the better, leaving couples more freedom to choose what really feels comfortable and symbolic for both of them.
That's not to say that there aren't still some of those old traditions that harbor a certain magic, even under the modern lens, like the nervousness that precedes the conversation with the bride's family.
If you are in this position, we have some tips on how to ask her dad for his blessing, which will surely help you.
In the past, asking for the bride's hand had more to do with the groom's economic and social status than anything else. Today, it is a gesture of respect and trust that helps your partner's family to be more open with you, to take that important step from stranger to family member.
Although you're not doing it to seek their permission, a parent's blessing helps lay a really solid foundation for a lasting relationship. Keep in mind that a good father will always be a father, and no matter how hip he is, he wants the best for his daughter and needs to know that she will be okay.
Before you do anything, it's important to know if that feels right for your partner. Know if she gets along with her parents or if these types of traditions are really important in your family.
If you are convinced of the importance of this step, you are ready to know how to ask father to marry daughter.
The first tip is to sit down and think carefully about whether you and your partner are on the same page regarding marriage. The last thing you want is to talk to your family and be rejected outright in front of everyone (or in private).
Remember, traditional or not, your partner is the only one capable of consenting to the marriage and family is important in the process, but it is still optional.
Also consider whether your partner would be comfortable with you talking to his or her parents about it.
Try to get to know the parents as much as you can. We know it's a little tricky if they live far away or haven't had many opportunities to get to know each other, but you should make the effort as it will make things much easier.
Knowing their lifestyles, their views on religion and traditions will give you all the information you need to choose the right time, place and words.
Once you have seen the picture and it looks favorable, plan the scenario well and make sure you will have a space where you can talk privately with the father.
If the family already knows your intentions, it will probably be much easier to make the conversation happen. Avoid noisy settings, such as a bar, where outside elements may affect the flow of the conversation.
Although the tradition is to ask the bride's father for his blessing for the wedding, talking to her mother or another important family member will give you countless bonus points. Many times, the father is not necessarily the key figure in the family.
Sometimes you will want to talk to the grandparents if they are very close to the bride, an uncle or stepfather if the biological father is not present.
The idea is to identify the person whose blessing is important to your bride and in most cases, it will be both the father and the mother.
At the time of the conversation, it is completely normal to be nervous, it is an important step for you, but keep in mind that it will be an embarrassing and tense moment also for the father at first and more so if he does not know why you have decided to call him aside to talk privately.
Be honest, tell him of your intentions to marry your daughter and try to get to the point. Comment that her blessing is important to you and avoid jokes unless the tense part is over.
Show trust and respect, if your love is real and you mean well you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
One thing few engaged couples prepare for is parental questioning, and it's a mistake you shouldn't make. Remember that a child's well-being is a priority for a parent, so he'll be curious to know if you've really thought about the future.
Be prepared to answer questions such as:
Some questions may be uncomfortable, but it may also be the case that the father is thrilled with the idea and won't even ask them. Either way, you should be prepared - after all, it's about your own future and it's good to know those answers in the first place.
IF something comes across as uncomfortable or out of line, be respectful and get out of the way gracefully.
As an important piece of advice: Never say more than you should unless you are asked.
Asking for a parental blessing for the engagement is often a big experience filled with emotion and uncertainty, but it's one of the best ways to take your relationship with your new family to the next level and show that you're a trustworthy person.
If you've already been through the tense experience, it's time to look for engagement rings and plan the wedding. When it comes to love jewelry we've got you covered.